there’s this line in a song that goes something like, “please don’t confront me with my failures. i have not forgotten them.” (Nico – These Days)
something motivated me to revisit some writing i did in the earlier days of my studies in Bloomington, and i really didn’t like what i read. some of it didn’t make sense. some of it seemed really pretentious and at the same time uninformed. some of it was ok. and some of it was good.
when i read, i definitely felt anxiety, insecurity, regret and/or embarrassment. and then i thought of running away from the text so that i didn’t have to confront it. streaming clips on YouTube or something. then i thought of the song lyric.
confronting failures can be good for understanding. in fact, maybe it ought to be done more often for understanding. i remember lots of things that i don’t understand. and the only way i can ever hope to understand things is to confront them especially when they make me uncomfortable.
don’t run from these things. turn and look at them. be observant of their details for longer periods of time than you’re accustomed to. write about them and revisit the writing often. failures becomes less fear/anxiety inducing the more you confront them.